Episode 3 – What Do You Really Want?
Hello and welcome to the show! Following on from the previous episode about uncovering your life purpose, we are now going to delve in a little bit deeper, because once you have decided why you are here, you now need to decide what you want. You can have some real fun with this, it’s like putting in your order for what you want and putting it out into the universe!
So, when we talk about vision, I want to encourage you today to think big, to give yourself permission to have a big vision. Now it doesn’t have to be bigger than you want it to be, but I don’t want you to think small either. Part of the problem with vision is that when people start thinking about what they want and they can’t see how to make it happen, then they pull the vision back, so today we are going to focus on the “what” what is it we want. So today I don’t want you to worry about the HOW, just think about if everything was possible what would your vision be?
So what does success look like for you? Most people don’t get what they want because they haven’t decided what they want. It hasn’t been described in a clear and concise manner.
Inside of you, there is a tiny little place that is “you” the person you were meant to become. This place inside you, unfortunately, has been buried due to childhood programming. This would have been in response to your parents, teachers or perhaps an adult role model while you were growing up. When you were little you knew exactly what you wanted, you spit out foods you didn’t like, cried when you were hungry, you had no inhibitions or holding back you just did that, until you got what you wanted. You were clear on what you wanted and you went straight for it and with no fear at all.
So what happened to change that?
Well, I’m sure you remember when someone said,
don’t touch that,
You don’t really want that
Stay away from there
You should be ashamed of yourself
Stop crying, don’t be such a baby
Then as you got older, you were told…
You can’t have everything you want
Money doesn’t grow on trees
Stop being so selfish
You’ve got to be kidding, what makes you think you can do that?
So what happened was that after so many years of these comments you eventually lost touch with what your body and your heart really wanted and then what happened is that you started to try and figure out what other people wanted you to do. You learned how to act and talk in ways to get someone’s approval. So as a result, you are now doing a lot of things that you really don’t want to do just to please other people.
Some examples might be;
- You’ve gone to medical school because your father is a doctor and he has always wanted that for you.
- You might get married just to please your mother
- You go straight into Uni from school instead of taking a year off and go backpacking in Europe.
We become numb to our own desires without even knowing it. It’s no wonder when you ask a teenager what they want to do with their life, they have no idea, they just say I don’t know.
On their shoulders are these heavy comments that they remember thought their childhood like – the should’s, the ought to’s and “the you’d betters” that are weighing them down.
We need to stop settling for less than what we want. If you want to get your power back you have to stop saying “I don’t know” and “I don’t care” or the favourite with teenagers “whatever”.
Make sure that when you are confronted with a choice look at it differently “if I did know what would it be” “If I did care which one would I like” “if it did matter to me what would I rather do?”
Its now time to start being absolutely clear about what you want and stop making other people’s needs and desires more important than your own. It is quite simply a habit, one habit you can break.
There’s a great way to get this all started and that is to make an “I would like” List.
I want you to write down 30 things you want to do
30 things you want to have and 30 things you want to be before you die.
THE “I WANT” TECHNIQUE
There is another powerful technique I use in my workshops which is called the “I Want”
Ask a friend to help you with this. All they need to do is continually ask you, what do you want, what do you want and each time you will answer with something that you want. Now do this for 10-15 minutes with your friend asking the same question what do you want. Now the initial answers won’t be that profound, they will probably be material things like I want a Mercedes or I want a big house on the beach. However by the end of this exercise the real you will begin to speak. The responses will begin to change, “ I want people to love me” “I want to make a difference in the world” you will begin to respond with your inner thoughts and feelings, more true expressions of your core values.
Another great exercise is the “the 20 things I love to do” list
Interestingly what stops people from expressing what they really want, is that they can’t see how they can make a living doing what they really love to do. There are famous people out there who have made a living out of doing what they love.
Golfers, Comedians-they love to make people laugh, you might love meeting people and travelling the world, well maybe you want to become a tour guide, that might be the perfect fit for you. So make a list of things you love to do and then try and think of ways you can make a living doing just that. If you love sports, maybe you could play that sport or become a sportswriter or maybe a sports photographer or a sports agent.
For now, just decide what you would like to do, don’t worry about the how, just yet, I’ll get into that in future episodes. At the moment, you are “here” what you need to figure out is how to get there. Where you want to be.
One thing is for sure;
“IF YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY CLEAR ON THE WHAT, THE HOW WILL SHOW UP”
“YOUR INNER GPS”
You have an inner global positioning system, just like the one in your car. For it to work, it simply needs to know where you are now and where you want to go. Success in life works in the same way.
All you have to do is be clear on what you want by being totally clear about your vision then lock that in with some goal-setting, affirmations and visualisations and then you will start moving in the right direction. Your inner GPS will begin unfolding the direction you need to go. In other words, once you clarify and stay totally focussed on your vision, the right steps will keep appearing along the way – the how will keep showing up just when you need it the most. It’s absolutely amazing how the universe works.
And please don’t limit your vision in any way. Let it be as big as you want. I recently saw a quote from General Wesley Clark, the former Supreme Allied Commander of NATO forces in Europe, he said:
“It doesn’t take any more energy to create a big dream than it does to create a small dream”
How great is that! Think about it, it doesn’t take any more effort, you don’t have to use more brain cells, you just have to dream it.
Superachievers dream big, I mean JFK dreamt of putting a man on the moon by the end of the decade, he shared his vision and what happened, people said wow I want to be part of that, they decided to change their majors in university to aerospace technology and physics, etc. because they wanted to be part of that dream.
Martin Luther King dreamt of a country without prejudice and injustice, there are millions of other examples. They see things from a whole different perspective, they see places where amazing things can happen, where billions of lives can be saved or improved.
Robert Fritz said it best when he said “ If you limit your choices only to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want, and all that is left is a compromise. And remember don’t let anyone talk you out of your vision.
THE VISION EXERCISE
Speaking of Vision, I’m going to go into what is called the Vision Exercise. We’re really getting into the exciting stuff now…
You may want to pause this if you are not in a quiet environment, you will need to be in a place where you won’t be disturbed. If you’re driving right now, I would definitely pause this because I need you to close your eyes to get the most out of this exercise.
This exercise is to clarify your vision. I am going to break things down into seven categories for you ok.
The seven areas are;
Income, net profit, fundraising targets, net worth, how much superannuation do you want to retire with, debt-free, mortgage paid off, what weekly income do you want.
WORK AND CAREER
Where are you working, favourite job, is it a corner office, is it overlooking the ocean, who are you working with? What business would you be running, what does it feel and sound like?
RECREATION AND FUN TIME
Hobbies, start a rock band, collecting stamps, travelling the world, taking salsa dancing classes, I actually did that earlier this year in Costa Maya Mexico it was great fun. It could be learning martial arts or listening or watching your favourite comedian. Where are you going on your family holidays or maybe plan how many times a year you will travel.
HEALTH & FITNESS
You might want to lose weight, think about your fitness levels, reduce your cholesterol level, run a marathon, get rid of your back pain, it could be an exercise goal, getting a personal trainer, maybe joining a gym, or having a gym in your house, getting a massage or a facial once a month. What would you like to be experiencing in that arena of your life?
You may want a certain relationship improved, this could be a family member, could be a business or work-related relationship or a close friend. It could also be who would you like to hang out with or maybe you want more friends. You may want to get out of an abusive relationship or you may want to heal a relationship. If you had ideal relationships who would they be with and what would be happening.
This includes a lot of stuff, possessions. You may want a certain type of sports car, or a battery-operated car, you might want a Gucci suit of a Gucci bag, house on the beach, to travel the world all the time, a corner office with a big leather chair. This can include education such as you want to get your Masters or Ph.D. or go to a spiritual retreat twice a year. You might want to write a book.
What would you like to do that would make a difference in the world? Is there a charity you care about, you may want to start a non-profit organisation for something you deeply believe in. Maybe you want to do some volunteer work? How are you participating? What is it that you want to do that would help others and make a difference.
Remember to start this from a place of appreciation. We always want to start our WANTS from a place of appreciating what we already have.
You can write down your answers as you go along or you can do the whole exercise first and then open your eyes and write them down. Either way, you need to make sure that you capture everything in writing as soon as you complete this exercise.
Then what I want you to do is review your writings daily, you need to keep your conscious and subconscious minds focused on your vision and as I build on this principle through future episodes of this podcast you will begin to manifest all the different aspects of your vision.
There are so many reasons why we don’t share, it’s too personal, it will be judge, it’s too big it’s too selfish.
So for maximum impact, I want you to share your vision with as many people as possible. The more people you share it with you will find that there will be people that will want to make it happen. Someone might invite you to an event where you meet someone who can help you achieve it.
Share your vision, put it on your Facebook or Instagram page. Set up a blog and share what your vision is, it may be daunting at the beginning, but once you have let it go and put it out there it’s going to be a great feeling and an even greater feeling once the resources are returned to you and really magical things start to happen.
Also, each time you share your vision, it becomes more attainable, you feel great when you tell people about it. People can’t help you if they don’t know what your dreams are.
And this is most important, what you will find is that every time you share your vision, you actually strengthen your own conscious belief that you absolutely can achieve that goal.
There is an exercise I do in my workshops which enhances this experience when you share it with someone and the group. They share their feelings before the exercise, and then they shared their feelings after the exercise was completed. And the results are transformational, they feel invigorated and looking forward to manifesting all their visualisations, because after telling someone about it they felt so good and had that belief that it wasn’t so outrageous and really believed they could achieve it.
“SO REMEMBER IF YOU ARE CLEAR ON WHAT YOU WANT, THE HOW WILL SHOW UP BY THE COMMITMENT OF THE ACTIONS THAT YOU TAKE.”
I hoped you have enjoyed this episode, thanks for subscribing. I would love it if you left a review in iTunes or wherever you listen to your podcasts and if you know of someone who may benefit from this information please share it with them, because I am on a mission to help as many people as possible.
You can also go to yourroadtosuccesspodcast.com.au and review the show notes pages as well as downloading some free resources.
And my closing quote from Andrew Carnegie;
YOU ARE WHAT YOU THINK, SO JUST THINK BIG, BELIEVE BIG, ACT BIG, WORK BIG, GIVE BIG, FORGIVE BIG, LAUGH BIG, LOVE BIG, AND LIVE BIG!
That’s it from me, thank you so much for listening and I’ll see you next week when I discuss believing in yourself and believing that “it is” possible. Until then, have a wonderful and successful week!