Episode 17 – Rejection Is A Myth!
Hello and welcome to the show! If you’re someone who really wants to be successful in all areas of your life you are going to have to learn how to deal with rejection. Rejection is just part of life, it’s like the two things in life that are certain, death and taxes. There are so many examples of being rejected. You don’t get picked for the team, you don’t get the sale, you don’t get the bonus you wanted, your fund-raising request gets turned down, your manuscript gets rejected, your application for membership is denied or you get turned down with your offer of marriage.
To move past rejection, you have to realise that rejection is actually a myth. It really doesn’t exist. It’s a concept you hold in your head. Think about it, if you ask Dayna out for dinner and she says no, you didn’t have anyone to have dinner with before you asked her, and you don’t have anyone to have dinner with after you asked her. Your situation didn’t get any worse, it just stayed the same! It only gets worse because you’re telling yourself, “see my mother was right, no one likes me.”
So, if you apply to get into Melbourne Uni, and you don’t get in, you weren’t at Melbourne Uni before you applied and you are not in Melbourne Uni after you applied. Again, your life didn’t get any worse; it just stayed the same, you really haven’t lost anything! What I am trying to say is, you never have anything to lose by asking, and because there is possibly a substantial gain, by all means, ask!
This is a great mind game for you to think about, “SWSWSWSW” which stands for “Some will, some won’t, so what, someone’s waiting.” There are people that are going to say no, then there will be people that are going to say yes. It’s just a numbers game. Just keep on asking until you get a yes, it’s actually out there waiting. “What you want, wants you.” Make sure you hang in there long enough to get that yes.
The founder and publisher of Black Enterprise Magazine, Earl G. Graves once said:
“We keep going back, stronger, not weaker because we will not allow rejection to beat us down. It will only strengthen our resolve. To be successful there is no other way.”
I’ve got a great word to think about or say out loud when someone rejects you. The word is “NEXT”, now I’ll explain that in a moment.
You will have to get used to the idea that there is going to be a lot of rejection along the way to your goals. And that’s ok, just think of it as part of the process and journey to where you want to be. The secret is, not to give up. So, here it is, when someone says no, you say “NEXT” no I’m not interested “NEXT”, sorry I can’t help you, “NEXT”, it’s a bad idea, “NEXT”, no I don’t think so, “NEXT!” Just keep on asking, because someone IS out there wanting to help you. Colonel Harland Sanders had a dream when he left home with his pressure cooker and his special recipe for cooking Southern Fried Chicken.
He received 1009 rejections before he finally found someone who would help him make his dream come to life. He finally found someone who believed in his dream.
So, because he rejected rejection over 1,000 times, we now have 640 stores around Australia, serving over two million customers a week and they deep fry 50 million kilograms of drumsticks, nuggets, and burgers annually! We have now reached over 23,000 KFC outlets in more than 140 countries and territories around the world.
The same with James Dyson, he had a vision for the bagless vacuum cleaner with cyclone technology, of course, he had 5126 prototypes before he got the system right, that shows his perseverance and persistence which I will be covering in a future episode, but anyway he was rejected by over 1000 manufacturers because they thought it would hinder the sales of replacement dust bags, which was a valuable market because the market for disposable cleaner bags was 100 million pounds, so he launched it in Japan first.
He went on to create other inventions such as his washing machine and the Dyson hand dryer that uses a thin sheet of moving air as a squeegee to remove water, rather than to attempt to evaporate it with heat. He has gone on to receive many awards for his work and now Dyson is a household name. He rejected rejection in a major way.
The Author of Back Road, Tawni O’Dell who was an Oprah Book Club pick once said:
“Never give up on your dream…. Perseverance is all-important. If you don’t have the desire and the belief in yourself to keep trying after you’ve been told you should quit, you’ll never make it.”
If someone says no, ask someone else. Just say “NEXT”. Remember there are around 5.5 billion people on this planet! There is someone, somewhere that at some time will say yes to you. Don’t get stuck in your fear of resentment.
Move on to the next person because someone is out there, ready to say yes, it’s just a numbers game.
He Knocked on 12500 Doors
I love telling the story of Dr. Ignatius Piazza who was a young Chiropractor straight out of school who decided he wanted to open offices in Monterey Bay in California. When he approached the local chiropractic association for assistance, they advised him not to open an office there because they already had too many chiropractors in that area, and to set up somewhere else.
So, he applied the “NEXT” principle. He went door to door from early in the morning until sunset, just knocking on doors asking various questions, where should I locate my office, what newspapers should I advertise in to reach your neighbours, what hours should I be open, should I be open in the evening for those who have 9- 5 jobs, should I call it this or should I call it that. But the best he did was ask, “If I have an open house, would you like to receive an invitation?” So he took their details if they said yes and continued on…..day after day, month after month. By the time he was done, he had knocked on over 12,500 doors and talked to over 6500 people.
Now, he got a lot of no’s, he got a lot of “nobody is home”, he even got trapped in a porch because there was a pit bull guarding the home and he was trapped for a whole afternoon because the animal wouldn’t let him leave. Nonetheless, he persevered and received enough yeses that during his first month in practice he saw 33 new patients and earned a record income of $72,000.
Now, this was in an area that didn’t need another chiropractor!
So remember that to get what you want you are going to have to ask, ask, ask, and say next, next, next until you get the yeses that you are looking for!
Asking is, was and always will be a numbers game.
And please don’t take it personally because it isn’t personal, the person saying no may not be able to at the moment, may not have enough capital, you may have asked them at the wrong time, so just keep saying NEXT!
I want to tell you about some famous rejections. Everyone who has ever made it to major success has had to endure some type of rejection.
So consider these:
Angie Everhart wanted to be a model, but model agency owner Eileen Ford told her that she would never make it as a model because as she put it “Redheads don’t sell”. She later went on to become the first redhead in history to appear on the cover of Glamour magazine and Sports Illustrated. She had a great modelling career, and then went on the appear in over 27 films and numerous TV shows and she is still active now in entertainment.
Novelist, Stephen King almost lost a multi-million dollar mistake when he put his Carrie manuscript in the bin after he received 30 rejections from publishers saying that they were not interested in science fiction which dealt with negative utopias. He was told “they don’t sell” Luckily his wife got it out of the bin and sent to another publisher who accepted the transcript which went on to sell more than 4 million copies and was later made into a Blockbuster film starring Sissy Spacek and John Travolta.
Now let’s talk about Google. In 1998 the cofounders of Google Sergey Brin and Larry Page approached Yahoo! and suggested a merger. Yahoo could have snapped up Google for a song, but instead, they told the young Googlers to keep working on their little school project and come back when they had grown up a little. Within 5 years, Google had an estimated market value of 20 billion US dollars. At the time of this episode, it is now worth over 630 billion dollars. A big whoopsies there for Yahoo….
If you’re a Harry Potter fan you’re going to love this story. Even the first Harry Potter book, “Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone” was rejected by 12 publishers before it found a home. JK Rowling didn’t give up, she kept going, kept asking and is now one of the richest people with a net worth of over one billion dollars, although at one stage she lost her billionaire status due to her philanthropic work.
We all know about the movies Jurassic Park, The Colour Purple, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Saving Private Ryan, E.T., Lincoln and Jaws. Yes, I’m talking about Steven Spielberg applied and was rejected twice by the prestigious USC film school. He ended up going to another university in Long Beach, California. Be he never lost focus and pursued his dreams of being a great director and bringing stories to life. He went on to produce and direct some of the greatest blockbusters of all time. Twenty-seven years after being rejected from USC, they awarded him an honorary doctoral degree, and two years after that he became the trustee of the university.
I hope that has helped you further understand the concept of asking and how important it is in getting from where you are to where you want to be.
As always I appreciate you being here and I hope you are finding these tips helpful and that you have shared and subscribed to this podcast.
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I will leave you with a quote from Actor, Writer and Director, Sylvester Stallone who once said:
“I take rejection as someone blowing a bugle in my ear to wake me up and get going, other than retreat.”
That’s if from me thanks for listening, you can now go out there knowing that rejection is a myth!
Have a wonderful and successful week full of yeses!